Roles of the wedding Party - an Overview

Well now, the lovely bride and groom have decided that you are lucky enough to be a main player at their special day. An honour indeed, but it’s not all pretty dresses, chic suits and new shoes. You have an important part to play, so here is some help on what’s expected.

The Chief Bridesmaid / Maid of Honour

This role usually goes to the bride’s closest friend or family member.

Prior to the day you will be required to go dress shopping, organise the hen party and look after the bride during it. Attend fittings and take on any jobs you are asked to, and you should also attend any rehearsals and meetings as required.

On the day, make sure the bride drinks plenty of water, has eaten and is as relaxed as she can be. Make sure hair and make-up are on schedule and help her and the other members of the party dress. Make sure you keep to time, a few minutes late may be accepted but half an hour could be a disaster.

Generally look after the bride for the whole day, help with make-up and hair touch -ups and going to the bathroom, wedding dresses can be hard to negotiate in a toilet cubicle.

Assist the best man with any gifts and cards and gathering together family for photographs.

Your job is to look after the whims of the bride on the day, as she may be nervous and need a re-assuring smile at any time.

The Best Man

As with the above, your job is to take the pressure off the groom. It’s not all about the stag do!

Beforehand, you should help to arrange the purchasing/hire of the suits and attend any pre-wedding meetings you’re asked too. Be sure to confirm all arrangements by liaising with the bride, groom and immediate families.

On the day you should ensure the groom is punctual, sober and relaxed (a hangover for you both is really not a good look).

Organise the ushers, make sure the rings are safe and assist the photographer with finding groomsmen and guests for photos (before and after the wedding).

You should have a speech that is acceptable to be heard by all. Remember that grandparents, parents and celebrants do not want to listen to an hour of the groom's past misdemeanours. Keep it brief, clean, heartfelt and all will be fine.

You should ensure that gifts are put in a safe place, all the suppliers have been paid and all are happy with any requirements.

Your job is NOT to hold up the bar for the whole day and forget why you are there.

Article by Award Winning Wedding Planner Julie Tooby
Images Courtesy of Surrey Wedding Photographer Matt Pereira Photography

First published The Wedding Community

Part 2 - Tips on Handling Suppliers

If you handle your suppliers with care and attention you'll get the best out of them in return. Here's 5 more tips for you to bear in mind.

Push for more

Be realistic. Venues may not be able to give huge discounts in the current financial climate, so instead try to stretch them to throw things in - such as free accommodation for the newly weds!

Don't be scared!

The flip side of a recession is that your business should be even more important to each supplier, so don't be scared of being labelled demanding or mean. They will have seen much worse, honestly!

Look for hidden costs

Find out if the prices you've been quoted include VAT, delivery charges etc. If they don't then you need to re-negotiate.

Enlist some expert help

If the thought of negotiating with suppliers fills you with dread hire a wedding planner. They can liaise with all your suppliers and get you the best deals, leaving you completely stress free.

Get to know each other

Remember that you should feel comfortable with all your suppliers, but especially with your photographer. They will be with you most of the day so it's important to meet them all beforehand so that they know exactly what you expect.

Part 1 - 5 of the 10 Rules for handling suppliers

Handle your suppliers with care and attention and you will get the best out of them in return.

Always be prepared

When you meet with a supplier take a list of exactly what you want to achieve. Be precise and you'll get an accurate quotation. Don't wing it or you'll forget something!

Contrast and Compare

Check out the market place. Always visit more than one supplier - if you have at least three quotes for each part of your big day, you would have done your homework!

If you don't ask...

Once you have gathered your quotes, decide which you want to go with and then start to talk to them about their price, how it compares to your budget, and if there is room for negotiation, or even adding extra things in.

Ask the right questions

Ask questions that provoke a positive response. Don't say " I don't suppose you can work within my budget, can you?" Instead say, "Can we do a deal on that?" or "Are you flexible on that price?"

Plan the menu properly

Talk to your venue or caterers about cutting the costs of your meal by changing the menu slightly. Do you need a three-course wedding breakfast? Would substantial canapes work just as well? You could leave out the starter, or the cake as dessert. Or maybe swap the champagne for sparkling wine.

To follow - more tips on looking for hidden costs, expert help and not being scared!

....and now for the 1st dance

The song choice – When choosing the song, make sure that it is one that means something to both of you, you will both be dancing to it and an emotional connection to the song will help relax you and put you at ease on the day.

The speed of the song - Make sure the song has a steady beat that you can hear. This will allow you to dance in time with the music easily and will help you dance together as a couple. If there is a steady beat that you can both hear you will feel confident and will be able to have fun with the steps that you choose.

The dress - If possible, choose a wedding dress that allows you to have a bit of movement – many dresses have a hook at the back allowing you to gather the train and pin it up. This allows movement when dancing and will allow you to travel backwards and sideways without standing on the bottom of the fabric.

The shoes – Make sure that you are comfortable in your shoes – take a moment to think about the floor at the venue - is it wooden, tiled, stone or cobbles? Make that your shoes fit you well and have non-slip soles. If on the day you realize that you are slipping slightly on the floor, dab a sugary drink on the sole of the shoe, this will help lessen the slide.

Dance lessons – If you are nervous about your first dance and want some reassurance, take a few dance lessons leading up to the big day. It can be a great way to relax and have fun leading up to the wedding and at the end of the lessons you will feel more confident and able to dance on the day.

Prepare – If you decide to have lessons for your first dance or choose to have a routine choreographed, make sure that you take time out from your wedding preparations to practice the steps that you have learned. The more you practice and play around with the dance at home, the more relaxed and confident you will feel on the big day.

Enjoy it - Your first dance as husband and wife should be a pleasurable experience. Don’t worry about it or build it up to be bigger than it is, you have done the hard work. You have arranged the wedding and made the speeches, the dance is the time for you to let your hair down and have some fun!

With thanks to Hannah Nicholls at Deliver The Dance

for ore information please www.deliverthedance.co.uk

or email us x